Feeling fresh this morning as I have been groomed like a favoured pet at Christmas. Evidently Christmas had come late this year. My whiskers were graven, and I was clean-shaven, a practitioner of hair conditioner, propositioned only under the condition that I was conditioned, I was lewd, nude, and shampooed, but I’d rather be lathered by you. After a few weeks of unsuccessful growth, I decided to prune my face, or whatever had decided to peek through the surface of my dermis. For those who are in the same schooner as I am, I have found something that is sure to help you in achieving your dream of owning your very own righteous beard:
Yes, it is true, now you can actually select the way you want to look. Older, Younger, Distinguished, Cool, Suave – you name it! Wear each one independently or combine them for the effect you desire. All items made to exacting professional standards. Firmly self-adhering. Can be worn with self confidence anywhere, anytime. They are so life like you will have to remind yourself that they can be removed! FREE with each order, a complete guide that tells how to naturally wear your sideburns, mustache, and van dyke.
Also, as you seek your new identity, you may also shop for other manly things such as Go Karts, Mini Bikes, and Stamps for your Collection!
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A long, hard fought weekend left my room and I with the scent of ode de rank, $30 worth of memories on my wall, and a mammoth size “Fabreeze Noticeables” plug in. I can see where the name derived from, as it is not at all hard to notice the glowing hogshead above my couch.
1 comment:
I can read it now. i like.
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